Miss Independent

“If you love me you go buy me Ferrari
If you like me you go pay me salary”

Yemi Alade

While it may not be a literal Ferrari or actual salary, this song speaks to the mentality of most young ladies today.

What happened to the allure of the independent woman? Relationships these days have been turned into business ventures where the girl demands to be ‘taken care of’ in exchange of ‘love’. She wants rent money; weave money, spa money, money for her utility bills, money for shopping, pocket money… She expects the man she is with to provide all these or else she will get one who can. Where did this mentality originate from?

This girl (let’s be honest, she is not mature enough to be called a woman) will spend the whole day in bed catching up on the latest episode of devious maids and in the evening she will paint the town red on someone else’s dime while looking for better options. She doesn’t have a job and is not interested in looking for one; she has already scored her meal ticket, so what’s the need?

The sad thing is that our young men are condoning this behavior. A guy will hustle his behind off, not because he wants to invest or to give back to the community or to take care of his old folks, but because he wants to impress a certain girl, perhaps ask her out and if all goes well marry her. What?? I mean. What?? And it’s even worse because they have to compete with old, married men with pot belly’s the size of a stadium. These men on account of their wealth have joined the ‘dating’ (sponsoring) game; they will snatch up your girl in the blink of an eye.

Personally, I’m a very proud person and as such my pride will not allow me to borrow money from a man (well, except from my dad).  I refuse to be dependent on a man. I want my freedom and the joy that comes with spending my own. I will hustle my ass off to ensure that I have enough to splurge on myself and to never ever HAVE to borrow from any man that I’m with. I want my man to respect me because I’ve got my own.

P.S. I hope if I’m privileged and blessed enough to get a daughter she will also strive to have her own.

In the words of Ne-yo “And everything’ she got, she work for it, good life made for it, she take pride in sayin’ that she paid for it.”



Girl About Town


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