The one that got away

In another life I would be your girl. We’d keep all our promises. Be us against the world. In another life I would make you stay so I don’t have to say you were the one that got away.

Katy Perry

I am guilty of taking things for granted and knowing their worth only when I’ve lost them. I do this with not only possessions but with people. I take relationships for granted and don’t really appreciate them until I lose them. And the funny or maybe sad thing-depending on how you look at it- is that I never learn. I assume that I will learn from my mistakes but I keep repeating them over and over again. I have ‘lost’ so many friends along the way by taking them for granted and not putting any effort in the relationship.  For some reason in my head I believe that it will all work out and there’s no need of going the extra mile. Something that I’ve realized about myself is that I am very poor at communicating with my friends; I guess I just assume that they know I love them and that I will always be there for them. I now know that I have to put a little more effort in nurturing my friendships. I am lucky that I have managed to create a strong bond with most of my close friends that even when we go weeks without communicating we know that that doesn’t mean the friendship is over or is weak. They are family, you know like how you would go even months without talking to your family members but that doesn’t change how much you love them. There’s that bond that no amount of time or space can never change.

I am a slightly ‘weird’ person and how I relate with every individual is totally different. I have at times been accused of having multiple personalities but there’s one person who knows the real me. They know who I am beneath all the bravado, the layers and the walls I have put up. They might even know me better than I know myself.

Have you ever met someone that you feel so comfortable with that you can let it all hang out-emotionally of course? Someone whom you tell almost all your insecurities without the fear of being judged? Someone who makes your whole being light up when you think about them? Someone whom you can speak freely with, without overthinking things? Most of us only get to meet such an individual once in our lifetime and it’s upon you to ‘grab’ that person and do whatever it takes to keep them close.

Well this dimwit didn’t. I believe, know I had that person in my life and I took them for granted for so long that they gave up on me. You know how you think that because someone likes you they are willing to go through all sorts of shit for you? There’s only so much that they can put up with before they decide that enough is enough. The say that lightning doesn’t strike twice but in this case it did. I have lost ‘my person’ not once but twice and both times were because I took them for granted and failed to appreciate their worth.

I don’t like feeling vulnerable and this person showed me it was okay to do so, that it didn’t mean that I was weak. That it takes great courage to be vulnerable. I am still a work in progress though, but I believe I am better off now than I was before I met this individual. Although I still put up walls to protect my feeble heart, it is easier to tear them down now than it was before. I learned a great deal about myself from this person and I know I am who I am today because I met my person. It has been said that some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same. I thank God for the footprints that were left on my heart, because of them I have learned to stop taking people for granted and to appreciate them whenever I can coz it stings like a ***** when they leave. That’s when you realize that your life will never be the same without them; that they meant a whole lot than you were willing to admit. Sometimes when they leave they take a chunk of your heart with them and nothing or no one can ever fill that void left. I guess what I’m trying to say is;

“Don’t take people for granted, no matter how much they love you, people get tired eventually.”

Cheers.

XoXo

Girl About Town

 

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